.the 100th day.Al-Fatihah.

It’s been 100 days since we last saw your smile..



It’s 100 days without hearing your voice..


It’s just 100 days, it’s already 100 days..






It’s just 100 days, but I miss your cooking..


I miss seeing you in the kitchen, patiently making all those pastes, all those dendeng, nasik daging, your most delicious ikan patin tempoyak..


Did you know that when you were around, I would never, ever eat any ikan patin tempoyak if its not made by you..?


I guess it’s kinda too late for me to tell you that now, right Ayah?


I miss making dishes for you; I just love it when you taste any of our cooking though it wasn’t that great; my kek batik, along’s chocolate cake and baked macaroni, angah’s ayam black pepper, nadia’s murtabak Maggie, the agar-agar kelapa..


I’m glad I made you that burger the afternoon before you left us; though it was just frying the patty, putting the patty between the bread n cheese, putting it in the microwave, thank you so much for eating that..and thanx for eating the limau bali..


I’m sorry I didn’t join you for dinner that night, as usual, I was just being the lazy me..






It’s already 100 days after that Subuh when mom asked Abelong to call me to your room..and then I stood there, I held your hand while being sleepy and all when you left us..


100 days after, I can still feel my hand touching yours..


I’m always grateful to Allah for giving me the chance to be by your side when you left us..


Allah knows best.. I think if I wasn’t there, I might not believe it..


It’s already 100 days and yet, I question myself everyday, are you really not here with us anymore..? I know it’s not good to question, but it still seems so surreal, like you’re just away, outstation, and that someday you’ll be back..


Every time we went to your resting place, I make myself think that this is just like visiting you when you were admitted..difference is, we can’t communicate with each other..






It’s already 100 days..and I still miss you every time anyone said the word ‘Ayah’..


Every time I heard anyone mentioning your name (which is a lot since one of my bosses’ name’s the same as yours..heh)..


Even though it’s already 100 days, every time I saw some one who looks like a father, I need to restrain myself from crying..






It’s been 100 days since I’ve been with my biggest supporter..


No one believes in me like you do..not even mak..


No one could ever have so much faith in me like you..


I’m sorry for taking things for granted, for taking you for granted..






It’s been 100 days without you..but at times, I could feel you’re still with us..


A lot have happened for the past 100 days..


It’s been tough, but not what we cant handle..as Allah wouldn’t test us if we weren’t capable of it, kan, Ayah?


For all your advice, for all the values I’ve been brought up with, for all those reminders which I often ignore..all those are what keeps me going, what keeps our family going..






Ayah, ayah tak yah risau tau..De jage Abelong.. every one’s taking care of each other..


I’m glad that you’ve said “awak ni da bagus da, cume buang malas tu je..” ;p


I’m glad that you know you can rely on me..


But I can never do a good job like you..Mak misses you..it’s kinda our fault..


We don’t really know how or what to talk with Mak..you and Mak used to talk about everything all the time..sekarang, Mak boleh cakap ngan kitorang pon mase bile je..


Tapi, kite try k, kite try borak-borak ngan mak, biar mak jangan asek sedeyh..






Ayah, kite tau ayah tak mungkin tau pasal ape yang kite tules ni..tapi, kite doakan Ayah sihat n selamat kat sane..Semoge roh ayah termasuk dalam golongan orang-orang beriman..Ameen..






Al-Fatihah.

Posted by kaka's azraa at 3:58 PM